Uh. You're not the Drummer Boy.
"Nope. Sorry. But look! I'm on SALE! And if you like, I can play a little ditty on this here carrot-kazoo of a nose."
[frantic whispering]
What? A substitute? Well, I guess, if that's all you've got...
What the...seriously? I ask for the little drummer boy, and you give me a "LiltLe Drum Set"? And how are two crossed matchsticks a drum set anyway?
[shaking head in disgust] Ug. Well, we have one more entry today...
Oh, dear.
Yes, my friends, I'm afraid Zwarte Piet has reared his ugly, ugly head again this year. However, I think I've more than said my piece on him, so...
Drummer Boy? Are you finally ready? Oh, good. Please, proceed.
If this post made no sense to you whatsoever, you might want to take a look at this. (Be aware some of the clips in that vid contain unfortunate accidents.) And if that still doesn't help, then I owe John five bucks.
Thanks to David G., Sara K., Adriana B., Kim R., Malorie M., & Sondra D., for snaring these awesome Wrecks.