[on the phone] "No, of course we're not celebrating that you didn't get parole, Trish; there's a frowny face on your cake and everything!"
"People, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. The good news: This is our last all-day staff meeting! Yeah!
"The bad news: We're going out of business because we can't afford the mortgage any longer.
"But wait! There's more good news: we have a cake."
"Oh, and more bad news: they spelled 'mortgage' wrong. Still, if one of you can get this baker fired and then take his or her job, then that's actually good news, right? Right? Guys? Where are you going? Hey, at least leave me a slice of cake! C'mon!"
Alicia A., Natalie H., Anony M., & Morganna B. were recognized as "Wreckporters of the Day" this morning in a brief online ceremony. Sadly, they received no cake.
- Related Wreckage: Makes Ya Wonder What the Card Said